Life is weird. Or strange. One moment you are down like it’s the last time you will ever get up; the next, you are filled with joy, ecstasy, and happiness that makes you want to live. That’s what life is, and if you are living like that, kudos to you.
The ups and downs, ebbs and flows, sadness and happiness, optimism and pessimism are all parts of life; you can include as many comparisons here as you want. You got the gist of what I am trying to portray. It’s not essential, though, for me, the comparisons. What’s important is how you live and how you go through each one of these feelings at different times of your life, how you express yourself to people, and how you deal with the emotions surrounding you at various stages of life with other people.
You learn to live with such emotions because that’s what makes life beautiful. You are a child trying to learn simple things and say simple words. Suddenly you are a teen trying to understand the complex emotions associated with human connections; you grow up and become an adult. Now you are contemplating life, searching for meaning, and understanding the purpose until you find one. Or, in the worst case, you don’t. The point is, you don’t stop learning, and you never stop growing. Time is inevitable, and so is life. It goes, and with it, you do as well.
But in this short journey of life from birth till death, the most crucial factor that describes human life and connections are emotions. Emotions describe life and provide meaning to it. Without it, life becomes meaningless, unimaginable. That’s how I was for most of my life. Emotionless, like a robot. Happiness was a feeling unknown to me; emotions were a concept strange to me. The sense of human connection, love, affection, and affiliation was unknown to me. I was deprived of most of the things that make life, life; I don’t remember the last time I smiled or laughed genuinely, or the last time anything made my heart pound faster, or the feeling of butterflies dancing in my gut. These feelings were strange to me. And I was a stranger to emotions.
Let’s not talk about the reasons and why I was like that; I might write about that some other time, when I will have enough courage, now is not the time. I don’t want to get off-topic, and for that sake, I will discontinue the discussion.
I have often heard that life gives you opportunities. There is a thing called hope, and no matter what, if you keep sticking to the hope, life gets better. I have also heard people saying that miracles do happen and that they exist and change your life in the least possible ways, at the least likely times. I don’t believe in them, miracles. For me, it’s just a distraction for us to give a false feeling of utopia and euphoria in the dystopian world that we live in.
But I believe in hope; I believe in the opportunities provided by life to change and correct what is wrong. This is turning more into my personal story rather than the theory about life from where I started. Maybe I am off-topic, and perhaps I am losing the direction to complete the original piece, but I will continue on this path; I like it more, so should you 😊.
One of the things that make life beautiful is love. If you have loved, let me tell you are lucky, you have lived, and know what life means. If you haven’t experienced love or haven’t found true love for yourself, my prayers are with you, and I hope you experience it, the reality, the essence of it. Yes, I hope. Anyways, talking about love, I have experienced. Lived through it. It feels beautiful. It is the kind of a feeling that brings warmth in the cold rainy November, a sense that brings shade in the middle of the Sahara. Love, indeed, is beautiful. When you don’t get it and don’t get the things you associate love with, it can be devastating. It can break you into hundreds of thousands of pieces, each one telling a different story.
Yes, I know what you are thinking. That’s precisely what happened to me. That’s how I became what I am today, a robot, emotionless, going through my day. This has turned into my blog, so that I will share a story with you guys.
I was damaged, broken, and devastated. Yet I hoped. I hoped for people I called mine. I hoped for their happiness and wished them and prayed for them, but not for me. I have never prayed for myself. When I lost what I wanted the most in my life, I stopped praying. Maybe I was angry with God, or perhaps he didn’t want me to pray. Maybe I couldn’t face him because of all the things in the universe, I just wanted one, and I didn’t get it. You can imagine the pain I must have felt if you have been through the same, but if you haven’t, I wish you never do.
Love comes to you when you expect it the least. It’s like finding a diamond in a coal mine, finding an oasis in the Sahara, or catching a firefly. It sparks you and ignites your heart, leaving it to burn once and for all, and when it has consumed your heart, your soul, and the way of your life, you become it. You become love. As strange as it sounds, you shape yourself as love wants you to, just like Superman’s cloak. Such a funny comparison I just did. Anyway, continuing to my story. When I least expected it, love found me, and I shaped myself as it wanted me to. If you have read my other blog, you already know what happened after that, so I’ll skip this part. But to tell you, that is precisely how I became what I was, homeless, emotionless, and sad.
It is often said that the darkest of the nights are followed by the shiniest of the days. Where there is sadness, there is happiness, temporary it might be, but nonetheless. Every winter is followed by a spring, and flowers bloom to their fullest, spreading colors, smiles, and emotions. Spring brings a new hope every time. It tells you that whatever it is you are experiencing, it will end. Every night will end, and a new day will start. It’s inevitable. Every sunset is followed by a sunrise, no matter how beautiful it is. And the sun has risen. I can see it from the horizon, a colorful spring, flowers in their full bloom, a feeling of euphoria, and a ray of morning light, a brand-new hope.
If you know me, you will find it rare and unlikely of me to speak about positive things, but here I am. Who would have thought? Even I didn’t. But someone did. Someone might have worked through it and thought through this. Because that someone had brought a new sunrise in my life, at the time when I was least expecting it, at the time when I stopped believing my miracle, hence proving me wrong once again.
When you think there is nothing more to live, it proves you wrong. It shows you that there indeed is a lot more to life than you might think it is, and while it is showing me, I know it will show you as well if you will start believing. Kudos to those who believe, who hope, and who pray. This all feels like a dream, but I hope not to wake up from this sleep.
To whom it may concern, the way you made me believe in life, and to the countless things it does, I can’t say if it is a dream or if you are a magician doing your little tricks to grab me by my waist and pull me towards you. Still, whatever it is, it feels like a brand-new journey, one that I am willing to take. It feels like a new hope. You feel like a new home. Some place I can find peace. Maybe a safe haven, but whatever it is, I don’t want it to end.